So much for planning

So, I made that list this morning. I crossed off what got done and you can see just how far I got with that. And no, it's not because I was so sick I couldn't get out of bed. I made the stupid mistake of calling my boss to see if my check from last month was there for me to pick up. She apparently didn't know I was back from Maine yet and when she found out I was home she asked if I could come in for an hour or two while she went to pick up her husband from the rehab hospital where he's been since getting both his knees replaced about two weeks ago. If it was for something less important I probably would have said I couldn't, but if I didn't go in her husband was going to have to stay for another night in rehab and I didn't want to be responsible for that.

So, my plans went down the toilet from there. My choice of whether or not to shower was gone (I really needed a shower but I could have squeeked by for another day if I was just running errands) so that took a bit of energy. I decided very quickly that I couldn't work AND run my errands, so they have all been pushed until tomorrow.

Now, what really got to me was that I told my boss I wasn't feeling very well when I talked to her on the phone (she asked how I was feeling so I was being honest). When I got in to work she apparently remembered me saying I wasn't doing that well and came out very quickly with the dreaded words, "Well, you look good!" I get that a lot - the double edged sword of having an invisible illness or disability. It's not that she said it that bothered me, it's how she said it. She didn't say it the way most people do - trying to make me feel better and as a compliment. When she said it, it sounded more like she didn't believe that I was really feeling horrible. Now, I have worked at the same place for over 5 years, I've grown up taking classes there, my boss has seen me through some really rough times and knows that I am not just going to "get better" all of a sudden, but somehow today I felt like she's sick of hearing that I'm not feeling well. She obviously had no idea how much I had sacrificed to go into work for just an hour and a half - I rearranged my whole day and basically made it so I wouldn't be able to do anything else or I'd be running myself into the ground to go in and work for a measly hour and a half.

So, that was my day. And now it's time for bed.

--Penguini