Progress

This afternoon while ascending an escalator from the underground part of Montreal to the street level after spending hours slowly working my way through the Montreal Holocaust Memorial (a really amazing museum if you ever get the chance to go) and another hour walking through the Musee D'Archeologie et D'Histoire de Montreal (Museum of Archeology and History of Montreal) I couldn't help but break out into a big grin. It wasn't a funny joke that popped into my mind or a happy memory that I was remembering. It was something so simple. I had managed with a busy afternoon which included quite a bit of walking around (although I took breaks to sit and rest) and I was still standing at the end of it. This is something that probably wouldn't have happened if I was on this trip a few months ago and definitely not if it was a little less than a year ago when I could barely climb a set of stairs. Almost exactly a year ago I was marvelling at very similar progress while on a trip with my dad to Baltimore to attend the same annual conference that has brought us to Montreal. And, not surprisingly, a year ago I was at about the same point of treatment with the same antibiotic as I'm on now. That was when my progress really started to show. It wasn't a huge difference, not night and day, but it was something. I was taking a step in the right direction.

And this is what I was thinking this afternoon as I was walking around the city, seeing the sites, stopping in little shops, generally having a good time. True, I was hooked up to an IV the whole time with the vitamin and mineral enhanced saline and infusion pump tucked into my "day trip" sized L.L. Bean backpack and that no doubt had a lot to do with my energy holding up relatively well throughout the afternoon. And I had to cut the afternoon short to come back to the hotel and hook up to my afternoon dose of IV antibiotics. And my feet hurt...a lot. Sure, I'm feeling worn out and wish I could sleep for a few days but I'm not curled up in the fetal position with pains in my legs and a bad headache. I'm not lying around afraid I'm going to throw up. I'm not falling asleep left and right. I'm not "normal" (I hate to use that term since it's so subjective) as the backpack IV shows. But for this one afternoon I was just another person walking the streets of Montreal. Another tourist pulling out her map every few minutes to make sure she's on the right road and hasn't missed the attraction she's looking for. Another person sitting on the Metro trying to get from poing A to point B.

Every step in the right direction is a mini-victory. Ground gained that could be taken away at any point, I don't know the future, but I know right now. Right now I'm in a beautiful city where I don't understand or speak the major language but has so much to offer. Right now I'm trying to take in everything. Right now I'm able to walk on my own two feet. Right now I'm able to sit down to dinner with my dad. Right now I'm able to marvel at the beautiful buildings and experience everything. Progress can't be measured in numbers or weeks or months. There are no guarantees that even small progress will last long, so savor the moments.

Yours,
Penguini