Saturday, May 19, 2007

Our deepest fear...

Friday, May 18, 2007


"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

For a long time I was waiting. I was sitting around waiting for things to change. I was waiting for my life to begin. I was waiting around to be "better", "healthy", able to go out and do the things I want to do. It doesn't really matter WHAT I was waiting for, the point is that I was waiting - waiting rather than actively DOING. I was waiting for life to get a chance to stop by and happen to me rather than going out and making it happen for myself. I was hiding behind illness, behind excuses for staying stuck in the same rut for the last...I don't even know how many years. Life was there somewhere, I just couldn't quite imagine myself managing to find it.

But I'm not waiting anymore. I'm not going to sit around for the rest of my life waiting for life to happen. Because life isn't something you can passively sit around and wait to come knocking on your door. There are opportunities out there, but they are not going to come to my doorstep or tap me on the shoulder unless I'm actively open to them and, even better, LOOKING for them. Life isn't something to have happen to you or to wait until the time is right to begin. Who knows if that "right" time will ever come? Who knows how much time any of us has or when the next bend in the road might bring the unexpected that forces us to stop in our tracks or regain our balance before moving onward.

Change is inevitible. Standing still won't stop it from happening. And would it really be good if we could stop change? I used to feel like change was the enemy, to be fought and resisted with all my strength, and that maybe if I just dig my heels in I could somehow turn back time and go back to days when I thought things were better. I say thought there because how do I really know if things were better at any one moment than they are in this moment? Maybe there aren't any better or worse times, there are just DIFFERENT times. And every moment, every experience, every struggle and triumph is a part of who I am whether I can see it or not. Without even one of the things I've been through, who knows who I would be now!?!

So instead of fearing change, I will embrace it. Instead of sitting around and waiting for life to come to me, for the opportunities to come seek me out, I will go out and find them for myself. I will not let my life be run by anyone else but me. Of course that doesn't mean I'll always get what I want, but, as that Rolling Stones song goes, "You can't always get what you want but if you try sometime you find you get what you need."

Life is that twisting, turning adventure. We can live in fear of it, trying not to allow the next bend to come and for things to change. Or we can just plain LIVE it! We can embrace every opportunity and not just wait around for everything to be exactly how we want it to be. People change us, there's no stopping it. Experiences help us evolve, there's no denying it. And maybe somewhere in all this we have the opportunity to change other people in return. And maybe, just maybe, we can, in some small way, help to change the world.


Wednesday, May 16, 2007

This isn't a poem of mine but one written by Oriah Mountain Dreamer, author of "The Invitation", "The Dance", and "The Call".

Night Tears

There is a crying
that happens at night
that does not come
while the light is with us.
There are things that cannot
be evaded
once the sun goes down.
Small nocturnal creatures
with sharp white teeth
silently gnaw at the edges of
belly and heart
when the darkness descends
and the void inside
grows larger.

It can split you open.

And the bone
in the centre of your chest
like the cracked wishing bone
from the turkey breast.

And if we are strong enough
to be weak enough
we are given a wound
that never heals.
It is the gift
that keeps the heart open.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer © 1995