Friends

I wonder how many people only see some of their best friends for 3 or 4 days a year. I wonder how many people count among their best, closest friends people they've never seen in person (and some they've never even seen in pictures). People they only talk to online or very occasionally on the phone. I don't consider it weird because it's a good way to socialize when you're chronically ill. But they're not just any online friends, they are friends who understand just what it's like to deal with chronic illnesses. What it's like to go through life losing friends, not being able to get out to meet new people or socialize with old friends, to spend a great deal of your time in bed. When you live in a world where the phrase "You look great!" makes you groan because, although usually it's a GOOD thing to look good, looking good only means that we are even less understood, you count your blessings when you have people who completely understand what it's like to wish you looked as bad as you feel sometimes so people could really see what's going on on the inside.

I feel blessed and lucky to have quite a few great friends that I have only just met in person but have been talking to online for months (or longer in some cases). Some I met last year but only saw for a long weekend and then, although there were intentions to get together during the year, a year went by without being able to sit in the same room as them and just have a goofy evening together. I wish we all lived closer to each other or that we could all fly to a get together every month and spend a weekend together. But the country is big and plane tickets are expensive so we'll just have to settle for talking to each other online through e-mails and instant messenger.

Friendships built upon online chats late at night and shared medical experiences can be deep and long lasting. We have come together, met one another because we have shared experiences that most of us would not wish upon anyone else, but the simple fact that we have met because of what we have been through makes it easier to handle. Without having gone through painful and/or uncomfortable tests, without having spent days unable to stand for very long and each time we try to we end up horizontal again (one way or another), without spending time feeling alone and isolated we wouldn't have found each other. We wouldn't have these friends that stand by us during the bad times and share our laughter and smiles in the good times (or just laugh because it's 2am and we're way beyond tired). These people that I call my friends are different from me in many ways but we share more than we could ever put into words.

Yours,
Penguini