Thursday, July 12, 2007

Expectations

Everyone has expectations, for themselves and for other people. And far too often we confuse expectations with real wanting, needing, desiring. We have our own lives planned out to a point where we forget to ask ourselves who we are doing it for and what we really want to do deep down in our hearts.

I kept plodding along on a path of expectations for most of my life, too afraid to veer off into the less sure darkness to the right or left. Expectations other people had about me came to largely define me – my life was going to follow a certain path because that’s what I was “supposed” to do. I was terrified of breaking out of the box people had put me in because it might shock them, and what might they think of me then?

But expectations fall short eventually and we realize we can’t live up to them, and that we don’t want to let expectations define us. We can’t become…ourselves by allowing other people to determine the course of our lives. Expectations hold us back and pin us down. I want to shake them free from my mane and race in a different direction. I want to shock people with my boldness, the fierce and mighty side of my personality. I want to define myself and my future and be open to whatever the universe may choose to throw at me. It’s my time, my life, mine to fight for or surrender to, my time to take flight, soar, want more, and start to run free, wind in my hair and heart pumping wildly as I take off towards a future determined by no one else but me.
--July 3, 2007

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