Jagged Yesterdays

Time can move onward so quickly. It’s as though it’s trying to run fast to catch up with some illusive treasure waiting just around the bend, sprinting toward tomorrow in hopes of finding something better or leaving the past far behind. But things follow us, even if we try to outrun them. Things are always there nipping at our heels, making us run faster in hopes of finding safety in a better tomorrow. You can’t outrun your past for it is a past of who you are. You can’t leave it behind any easier than you could leave a part of your heart behind.

Trying to outrun the past never works, the past can keep pace and always find you. But sometimes you can’t embrace it either without the jagged edges tearing into you, creating fresh wounds and re-opening old ones. What is one to do, then, with these old experiences and memories?

I see the footprints left behind; the scars only half-healed; the tracks of teardrops in my soul. And I see them in you. Your eyes are bright but show pain, disappointment, sorrow. Do not close the doorways of your soul to me, for I understand. Without words, I can see you clearly. Your tear-stained cheeks match my own. Your wounded heart, trying to heal, is so familiar to me. The brushstrokes of your life have been harsh at times, leaving streaks of sorrow.

We are so much the same, with pasts nipping at our heels and wounds half-healed. But I don’t presume to know your pain, that belongs only to you. I may understand, sympathize, empathize, but I do not know your pain the way you do. Our pasts are our own, belonging to no one else. And our futures are ours to create and mold. The past will always be there with us, but each day we create more past, leaving behind new experiences. Perhaps we can smooth those jagged edges with each new past we create. Life constantly changes as we shape our present and future. And as tomorrow becomes today, today will become yesterday and we must leave it behind. So make today worth remembering and maybe enough good todays will make the jagged yesterdays fade away.

--June 26, 2007